Father, it's been 21 days since my last blog.........

Well it's been awhile but due to my tireless dedication to perfection in the fields of fatherhood and husbandry there has been very little time to share my thoughts with you via the inter-web.

BLOODY HELL!!!!!  My nose just pushed the computer monitor off the desk!

Anyway what's been "going down" as they say on "the street" since my last blog?  Well, "the street" made  an unsavory advance into my middle-class world when some yoof tagged my house!  Does this mean Mr. RSK has laid claim on my crib?  If so he'd better start chipping in with bills and whatnot.  So to save any confusion regards ownership I bought some graffiti remover from B&Q and scrubbed the thing off.

The point this incident raises is that I'm not anti graffiti as long as it's good and has some artistic merit.  Tagging is little more than writing "I WAS 'ERE" on things, and as my mate Leroy pointed out it would have been much funnier to wake up and have had someone paint a huge comedy knob on the front of my house.  You know the one I mean; two big balls, a few pubes and a bit of wee coming out the end.

But lets not dwell on this, I've also been on holiday.  Which was nice.

The nicest thing about this holiday was the fact that someone else did all the cooking.  Don't get me wrong I love self catering but there is nothing more annoying than spending an hour cooking for your kids a meal which they decide not to eat and then decide they want fish fingers.  But you don't have fish fingers and have no way of getting them because the cottage you've rented is nestling on a remote Welsh hillside (well it will be if I've booked it), so the "holiday" becomes more of a change of scene with added complications.

No such problems on this holiday there was food aplenty both in terms of choice and quantity, in fact so much food that my calorific intake was enough to make Big Daddy wince.

For me the culinary highlight of the week was a Bread and Butter Pudding with Cornish Clotted Cream but it wasn't the light moist pudding that made this so wonderful, it was the size of the portion of clotted cream.  There is nothing more depressing than ordering a dessert which is accompanied by clotted cream and then receiving a pathetic thimble size portion.  In this case the portion of clotted cream was bigger than a tennis ball and every mouthful of pudding could be enjoyed with a healthy dollop.  If you are unclear by what I mean by "healthy dollop" check below that you are experiencing the following sensations as soon as you but the spoon in your mouth;

1. Orgasmic dilation of pupils.
2. Tightening of the chest.
3. Possible tingling feelings in your arms.   

Well that's enough guff from me for tonight, I'm off to strap on my sleeping girdle to prevent my man boobs from hanging out of the bed.

Good night and good luck.